I'll tell you, too, that's starting to depress me about UFO's, about the fact that they cross galaxies, or wherever they come from to visit us, and always end up in places like Fife, Alabama. Maybe these are not super-intelligent beings, man. - Bill Hicks
The definition of black irony is Pro-lifers killing Doctors who do abortions - Bill Hicks
Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Heres Tom with the Weather. - Bill Hicks
I don't want any gay people hanging around me while I'm killing kids. I just don't want to see it. - Bill Hicks
They Want You To Be A Docile Apathetic Consumer - Bill Hicks
Let me tell you about gays in the military. I don't want any gay people hanging around me while I'm killing kids. I just don't want to see it. - Bill Hicks
The whole image is that eternal suffering awaits anyone who questions God's infinite love. That's the message we're brought up with, isn't it? Believe or die! Thank you, forgiving Lord, for all those options. - Bill Hicks
I believe that God left certain drugs growing naturally upon our planet to help speed up and facilitate our evolution. - Bill Hicks
I ascribe to Mark Twain's theory that the last person who should be President is the one who wants it the most. The one who should be picked is the one who should be dragged kicking and screaming into the White House. - Bill Hicks
Oh sorry, I was taking life seriously. - Bill Hicks
Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye. - Bill Hicks
I'm sorry if any of you are catholic. I'm not sorry if you're offended, I'm actually just sorry by the fact that you're catholic - Bill Hicks
Here is my final point. About drugs, about alcohol, about pornography and smoking and everything else. What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, say, think, who I fuck, what I take into my body - as long as I do not harm another human being on this planet? - Bill Hicks
I want my rockstars dead. - Bill Hicks
I'm tired of this back-slappin' "isn't humanity neat" bullshit. We're a virus with shoes. - Bill Hicks
People often ask me where I stand politically. It's not that I disagree with Bush's economic policy or his foreign policy, it's that I believe he was a child of Satan sent here to destroy the planet Earth. Little to the left. - Bill Hicks
Listen, the next revolution is gonna be a revolution of ideas. - Bill Hicks
They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When you're high, you can do everything you normally do just as well — you just realize that it's not worth the fucking effort. There is a difference. - Bill Hicks
By the way, if anyone here is in advertising or marketing, kill yourself. - Bill Hicks
The best kind of comedy to me is when you make people laugh at things they’ve never laughed at, and also take a light into the darkened corners of people’s minds, exposing them to the light. - Bill Hicks
You ever noticed how people who believe in Creationism look really un-evolved? You ever noticed that? Eyes real close together, eyebrow ridges, big furry hands and feet. "I believe God created me in one day". Yeah, looks like He rushed it - Bill Hicks
I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck. - Bill Hicks
I just have one of those faces. People come up to me and say, 'What's wrong?' Nothing. 'Well, it takes more energy to frown than it does to smile.' Yeah, you know it takes more energy to point that out than it does to leave me alone? - Bill Hicks
We all pay for life with death, so everything in between should be free. - Bill Hicks